Loopholes
by tridecagirl
Summary: Nasty snake thing? Gone. Poor brother's romantic issues? Solved. World saved, you're very welcome, moving on. And me? I thought I had everything worked out. Guess not.
1. Chapter 1

Things never turn out as well as they ought to.

Oh. Right. For those of you poor souls who haven't met me yet, introductions are in order. Sadie Kane here; thirteen and a half year old girl, magician, and occasional goddess. As of today, I've saved the world three times (with a little help, I suppose). You're very welcome. All acquainted, yes? Good. Let's go.

I know we said we wouldn't record any more messages. Actually, I believe _I_ said that a few weeks ago, but I don't see why this is any less important than the end of the world. That comes along every few months, and it hasn't been all too serious yet.

(If Carter were here I'm sure he'd say that it was serious, lots of people died, blah blah. He's taking this whole responsibility thing far too seriously if I do say so myself. It's sent him a bit mental. Luckily, I've locked myself in my room for the time being, so hah! No interruptions from Sir Pharaoh.)

Where was I? A few weeks after our latest end of the world, I came down to breakfast after everyone else. Carter tells me I'm setting a bad example and such rubbish for sleeping in, but who wants to get up at the crack of dawn? They call being late fashionable for a reason.

Anyway, by the time I got to the breakfast table, everyone but Walt had left already. He sat at one end, absently tracing lines on the table with his fingertip. They might have been hieroglyphics. Couldn't tell. Didn't care.

"Morning," I said, flashing him my trademark smile of goddess-like splendor.

He didn't even look up, mumbling, "Morning."

I frowned. "You all right?"

Walt shrugged.

Even for a dead bloke, this was inexpressive. I eyed the empty table in front of him. "Did you eat breakfast?"

"Uh…"

"No, then," I said. "Walt, gods – immortal. Hosts – not so much. You still have to eat. Fancy anything?"

"Eggs," he muttered.

I stopped halfway to the buffet table. "I thought you hated eggs."

He finally looked up at me, eyes quite panicked. Carter says that the Sadie Inquisition can be a bit unnerving, but I was just asking the poor boy what he wanted to eat. It wasn't difficult.

"Pancakes," he decided, and I went to fetch them. It wasn't too surprising that he'd gotten a bit muddled. Ever since he'd started hosting Anubis, Walt had been scatterbrained. He'd be forgetting his own head next.

(Cleo told me that magicians have actually done this. Nasty business all around. Don't try it at home.)

I couldn't actually fix breakfast – it was already set out for us – but I did pour myself some cereal and slap two pancakes on a plate for Walt. To cheer him up, I drizzled a smiley face on them with maple syrup.

"A Sadie special," I announced, setting it in front of him.

He didn't even look, just stuck his fork into a pancake, making my syrup smile warp into a leer.

I sounded like a proper nag, but I couldn't help it. "Are you all right?"

He glanced my way for a moment, then stared at the table again. His brown eyes, usually so warm, looked clouded. "Yes. No. I – I can't do this anymore." He traced another symbol on the table with hard, angry movements.

"Do what?"

He stood up, pushing back his chair. "Never mind. I just want some time alone, ok?" Without waiting for me to answer, he stalked away, leaving the uneaten pancakes on the table.

I watched him go, and even though the world wasn't ending for the first time in ages, I still felt shattered.


	2. Chapter 2

You might have expected me to lock myself in my room and have a good cry. I can't say I wasn't tempted. Walt was supposed to be fixed - safe forever - and now he was acting horrid. I couldn't make sense of it. Still, we Kanes are made of stronger stuff - you might have noticed we're hard to kill - so I didn't break down in tears. Instead, I went to Carter.

Yes, yes, I know. My brother was pretty much the last person I wanted to talk to about this. However, maybe he could offer some explanation for the mad ways boys could act. Really - it was like they were daft on purpose. Cretins.

I found Carter on the roof, feeding Freak what was left of a frozen turkey. He was missing one of his eyebrows, which I quickly informed him looked quite dashing.

"I trained with Zia earlier," he told me. "Hosting Ra made her more powerful. Sometimes she forgets."

Lovely. Well, if Carter's relationship problems were getting set on fire, I still though I'd been dealt the rotten hand.

"Bring a fire extinguisher with you on your next date then," I said grumpily, sitting down.

Carter threw the rest of the turkey to Freak, who swallowed it whole, and sat down next to me. "Is something bothering you?"

I laughed. I didn't mean to, but it was all so bloody awful. "No. Nothing's bothering me. Nothing's wrong. It's perfectly fine that Walt won't look at me or let me hold a proper conversation. That's brilliant, really. I don't mind at all. I just thought now that the sodding apocalypse was over again, and he wasn't dying anymore, things might be... different. But it's fine. Lovely. Honestly." I stopped, sniffling miserably and feeling like a complete fool. I swear I don't honestly babble this much.

"Problems with boys, then," Carter guessed. Whatever else I say, I have to admit that my brother is a true master of deduction.

"I don't know why he's acting like this," I wailed.

Carter thought for a moment, giving Freak a pat on the flank when he came looking for more food. "Maybe because you call him Walt?"

"That's his name."

"One of them. He's Anubis too, isn't he? Or is he not balanced?" Carter sounded uncertain.

I opened my mouth, thought for a bit, and closed it. How were they cooperating? Walt had been doing much better of a job as host than Carter and I ever had. I hadn't seen him shouting at himself in the hallway or tripping when he tried to walk in two directions at once. (It's happened to Carter more than once, poor boy. He tried to dodge and jump at the same time and fell flat on his face. I couldn't stop laughing long enough to help him up.) Walt had even mastered divine magic right off - channeling his new powers without ever tripping up like we had so many times. All in all, a proper host. Could they really share a body so effortlessly? If not, who was in control?

"Sadie?"

I realized I'd been staring into space, trying to work out this mess. My life can be quite mental, if you haven't noticed. Strange phrases, odd actions, different expressions - details kept occurring to me, forming an idea I couldn't - wouldn't - believe.

"Sadie?" Carter sounded really worried now.

I shot to my feet. "Got to go. Talk later. Bye." Then I rushed off.

I dashed into Walt's room without even bothering to know. Believe it or not, I do respect people's privacy sometimes, but today was not the time.

Walt or Anubis or whoever he bloody well was stood looking in the mirror. His room was chock full of rubbish - pictures, letters, old amulets. It looked like Walt's life, spread out in solid form all over the floor.

"Anubis," I shouted, deciding on an alternating method for the time being. I didn't fancy keeping track for the rest of my life, but I'd work something out.

He turned to look at me and smiled - a real smile, something I hadn't seen from him in days. It faded right away, but it had been there. "Do you need something?"

I need to know, I thought. I unfocused my gaze, letting my eyes re-concentrate on the Duat. Where Walt's body stood, I saw Anubis as he always looked, staring at me.

No Wlat. Not healthy, not sick, not wrapped in mummy bandages. Nothing.

"Where is he?" I asked, shifting my vision back into the real world.

He looked at me like I was mad, which I suppose was a possibility. "Who?"

"Walt! I can't see him!"

He didn't answer, but I saw the expression on his face - the look that meant he was hiding something. That was the look that had started all of this.

I snapped.

I raised my hand in a spellcasting gesture, already calling on the power of Isis, and screamed, "Where is he?"


	3. Chapter 3

[Author's note: I forgot this twice, so here it is now, terribly placed in the middle of the fic.  
I have a thing about happy endings. Especially if everything is tied up in a nice, neat, perfect bow. The way things ended in Serpent's Shadow... I just had to mess around with it a little. I specialize in bringing angst to any story. I accept that this is not what the author intended, but I can point out textual evidence to argue that it's at least possible.]

"Calm down," Anubis said. I knew it was only him now. I had no idea how, or why, but dull as a doornail Sadie had gotten _that _worked out at least. He had a lot of bloody nerve telling me what to do.

Sadly, my hopes of throwing him into a wall were dashed when I felt only hollow emptiness where my connection to the goddess had been. They'd left, I remembered. Rats.

I let the power I had gathered slip away, but my anger remained. I was as angry with myself as anyone else. I couldn't believe I'd looked into Walt's eyes for days now and hadn't realized it wasn't him looking back out. A rubbish girlfriend I'd turned out to be.

"You stole his body?" I screamed. "You bloody, sodding, rotten... GODS! I thought you at least were better than that!" I could tell I was about to cry. Lovely.

He grabbed my shoulders, but I pushed him away. "Sadie, it was his idea."

"What do you mean it was his idea? He's dead!" I was quite hysterical by this point, as you might expect.

"Listen to me." He spoke slowly, like I might be too dim to understand. He was probably afraid I'd attack him again, but I still resented it. "Walt was dying. We considered hosting, but... you've done it. You know two people can't share a body for long."

I remembered hosting Isis, feeling her constant desire to take over, snatch up my life and do what she fancied with it. Living like that forever? I'd pass. Still, I wasn't prepared to agree with him. So I said nothing, only glaring at him until he continued.

"Besides, magic made him sicker. My power would have destroyed him." Anubis spread Walt's hands - his hands - into a helpless gesture. "He knew they needed you to stop Apophis, and he was afraid his death would make it harder."

"You think?" I said in the nastiest tone I could manage.

"We made a deal. I lent him my power and when he crossed over I took his body. It's not a typical host situation, but it worked. I'd act as Walt to keep you together until Apophis was dealt with."

Their little arrangement sounded completely daft to me. "When were you going to tell me?"

He looked uncomfortable, biting his lip. "When you could handle it."

"Are you completely mad?" I fought back the tears, unleashing all my rage into the words I hurled at him like spells. "I thought he was safe. I thought everything was better. At first I couldn't even believe it because I kept thinking everything would be snatched away again. Every day the world was still here, every day you - he - was still alive, I believed it a bit more. And now - now you tell me? Brilliant plan, Anubis!"

"It wasn't just my plan."

"I can't exactly have a bloody chat with Walt, can I? You've seen to that."

"Actually, you can." Anubis waved a hand and an inky black portal appeared, blocking the exit of his room. "Divine magic still works for me."

"Lucky you," I grumbled, eyeing the portal uncertainly. "Where does this go?"

"It'll take you to Walt," he said. "So you can say... anything you want to say."

"Can I trust you?" I snapped, but I didn't wait for his reaction. Instead I marched into the darkness, away from the boy I'd thought I'd known.


	4. Chapter 4

Passing through the portal was like walking through Khufu's favorite food. (Jell-O, that is. Not flamingos. That would feel - well, I'm not sure how it would feel, but I reckon not pleasant.)

I supposed I was having difficulty because the gods had moved farther away from the human world. A pain in the bum, losing them, but if it got rid of Apophis I would take it. Several of them had been cretins anyway, but I missed Bast and Bes.

Eventually I popped out into the land of the dead, always my favorite vacation spot. I'd spent more time there than any self-respecting living girl ought to. Hopefully the afterlife didn't sponsor Take Your Child to Work Day. Anubis had promised to send me to Walt, and he'd told the truth about that at least. Walt stood leaning against a pillar, watching a queue of spirits waiting for judgment from good old Dad.

He looked quite well for a dead bloke. No mummy wrappings, no pained expression. It was quite mental that the healthiest I'd ever seen him was his ghost.

"Hey," I said.

He turned, his eyes widening as he saw me. (My expression probably clued him in that this wouldn't be a friendly visit.) "Sadie? What are you doing here?"

I wanted to hug him. I wanted to sock him. Both would probably result in me falling right through him and landing on my face, so instead I shoved my hands deeper into my pockets. "Walt Stone," I snapped. "Fancy explaining to me why you're dead?"

At least he looked guilty about it. "Did he tell you?"

"I figured it out, but I shouldn't have had to. I shouldn't not know who people are. I shouldn't not know my friends are dead!" My voice rose to such a high pitch that I heard Ammit start barking in the background. A few of the dead looked over our way. "Mind your own business," I told them.

"I'm sorry," he said, trying to catch my hand in his. Instead, they passed through me like smoke. He was dead. I was alive. This seemed to be a repeating problem with my personal relationships. "We had to. It made sense."

"Maybe it made sense, but it wasn't right. I'm your friend, yes? Didn't you think I'd care?"

"I knew you'd care too much. That's what I loved about you," he said earnestly. "I was ready to give up, but you wouldn't let me. You fought for me. You convinced me to try. I got to spend the rest of my life on something that mattered, and I have no regrets about that."

I could feel a lump forming in my throat, and my words came out wobbly. Brilliant. "I didn't want you to die."

"I knew it would happen, and it's not that bad here." Walt gestured expansively to the vast room. He must've had a taste for fog and creepy columns. I wasn't looking forward to spending eternity here. "Your dad's a nice guy, too."

My dead sort of boyfriend had been having chats with my father. If possible, things had gotten worse.

"I wish I could have helped you," I mumbled.

"You did." He wrapped his misty arms around me in the closest thing he could manage to a hug. "I belong here now, though, and you don't."

I then brought eternal shame to the Kane family by uttering the worst piece of rubbish I could muster under the circumstances. (I can't believe I'm recording this. Whoever hears this - you repeat it and I will find you. It will not be pretty.) "Are you breaking up with me?"

He laughed. "Sadie, we were never actually together."

Rats. I'd forgotten.

"Thanks for the visit," Walt said, "but you should go home now. I think you've had enough time in the land of the dead."

I couldn't believe he was so... fine about it. About being dead. I knew that if I'd been in his place, I'd be raging and screaming and probably doing my best to get kicked out. (Where could they send me? I'm not quite sure. Remind me to ask about that.) But that was me, and this was Walt. He seemed... at peace. Even if I didn't want to admit it, I think it was me who was holding on. I took an unwilling step toward the portal and turned back. "Walt?"

"Yeah?"

"You should have had a better life. I'm sorry."

"I'm not," he said.


End file.
